Welcome To All-New Pondering Pig
WELCOME to the brand new, all-singing, all-dancing, all-fun, all the time Pondering Pig's same old blog at his brand new website! Mark your books! Don't let the teacher see! Resubscribe at your favorite RSS feed today to The Pondering Pig at www.ponderingpig.comI know that you've been able to find the Pig at that address for about a year, but the whole thing was a fake. I just leased the name so none of those fakers and shyster lawyers would swipe it and pretend to be the Pondering Pig. But yesterday I finally ponied up $10 to lease my own server space for a year. That's how committed I am to my bright future pondering The Ramones! Pondering peanut butter cookies with chocolate chips! Pondering love and death and torrential rains in Brandiphur!
In fact, I'm so excited I'm offering an introductory special: Request-A-Ponder. Or maybe Ponder This, Sucker! Be it The Ramones or peanutbutter cookies, Jimmy Skunk or my Uncle Freddy - your first five pondering requests shall be honored at no charge.
Remember, for all your pondering needs - the Pondering Pig is here to serve you!
Fine Pondering While-U-Wait.
Labels: Just For Grins
posted by Christopher Newton at 8:21 AM
19 Comments:
Pig, you are a hoot.
Here's my list, all 5 at once:
1. Why can you buy two pair of shoes of the same size and even the same style and they don't fit the same?
2. If Goofy is a dog and Pluto's a dog too, how come Pluto can't talk?
3. Why does it seem that UFO sightings didn't start occurring until after we bombed Hiroshima and Nagasaki?
4. Why don't doctors study nutrition in medical school?
5. If we're all in this together, how come some of us act like we don't know it?
That's my five. I have more, but I need to see a catalog or maybe a price schedule before I start spending my kid's college fund on heavy pondering.
Thanks.
Goofy and Pluto live in an alternate universe quite similar to my own. In that world there are talking dogs who wear funny green hats and overalls with no holes for their tails to stick out, and regular dogs who don't wear anything and bark.
Why is that strange? Why I myself speak rather good English and enjoy a glass of rare old port by the fireside from time to time. Yet when the mood takes me - there I am down at the sty with all the other pigs grunting and squealing and have a right good old natter.
It's the same with Goofy and Pluto. Usually Goofy goes off on adventures with his talking mouse pal, but from time to time he tears off his overalls and lights into a big juicy bone just like Pluto does, growling and barking like a real pooch. Then a crab comes along and bites his nose.
So, you see, there is really no mystery here. It is just the way of life, my friend. That will be 99 cents please.
Why, back in the day, did a brand of cigarettes (which I can't recall) describe the smoking of their brand as "cool burning"?
Why, in my Peanuts books, can Linus "hear" Snoopy's word bubbles?
Why is it, that even though I have a beautiful, willing wife, do I spend time at ponderingpig.com in the evening?
Sir:
1) Does one have to make an appointment with a psychic or does he or she already know when you're going to show up?
2) Part of a Grateful Dead lyric claims "the door was a jar." How can a door be anything but a door? Is this some sort of psychedelic, hippie weirdness?
Pondering these things has often kept me up at night.
"In the land of the dark, the chariot of the sun is drawn by the Pondering Pig."
-Egyptian Book of the Sty.
Why is it so hard to achieve the dreams you want to reach the most?
Spoke, you raise a serious question. Why, indeed? Why isn't life perfect? Why must we sit and pay bills when the siren call of love and joy whispers in our ears? What would a siren sound like if it whispered?
However, I have heard it said that even a short visit to The Pondering Pig's Herb Shop can change a tired businessman into a snorting stallion. It all depends on what he snorts.
I counsel a weekend getaway to the Bide-A-Wee B&B, with its four poster feather bed and its clawfoot bathtub. What, you guys just took one? Ahh, what's past is past - time for another!
That will be ninety-nine cents please.
Greg, As you know, I am a swami basher. However, they do perform miracles from time to time - not unlike television preachers. I myself have witnessed several who could turn the wisdom of the east into the money of the west.
All except for Madame Zorinda. She explained to me what these wriggly lines on my trotters mean. You might try her in your quest. She has a little shop in Pismo Beach. Right by the freeway. Ask the locals. If they don't know, look for her gigantic neon sign.
As for your question regarding why is a door ajar, I wouldn't worry. It usually means you can walk right in and not surprise anyone seeking the heights of love and joy.
That will be $1.98 please.
Leo, thank you for your original testimonial (not counting the Grateful Dead). I will use it on my dust jacket. I can see it now. I will dress up just like Zorinda except with one trotter holding a giant green beetle.
That will be ninety-nine cents please.
Paula,
Because they are the hard ones. Love, meaning, sunshine and flowers, hanging out after the show with Madame Zorinda - you know it don't come easy.
However, if you narrow your dreams, that might help. Try dreaming about making some popcorn while watching your DVD of The Ramones Fight Godzilla.
Remember, a dream is a wish your heart makes when you're fast asleep! Jiminy Cricket said that.
Try staying awake.
Hi. I got my Favorites changed over so the PP Blog pops right up as it should. Glad you are taking steps to insure the future of this often outstanding website.
Here is my first of five “Request-A-Ponder” questions for you. I’ll save the other four for possible future use.
Might what scientists are talking about as increasing “Global Warming,” and what the Bible speaks of as “the lake that burns with fire and brimstone” (Rev. 21:8), be somehow related? Are things heating up spiritually too?
I don't know. This is starting to sound like some e-commerce Ponzi scheme. There's a lotta 99 cent advice and insight flying around here these days. It sounds like the old bait and switch. The price will go up to 3.99 and you'll be selling us on the pig pyramid to riches.
In all, Bro. Gary may be right about global warming. Just a little taste of coming attractions...
Gary,
I think it would be a mistake to look upon Revelation as taking place in the physical world. I think it's John's spiritual vision of how time will end, but if he placed coded messages in it referring to the physical world - those prophecies have long been fulfilled. For instance, there's pretty good evidence that John meant the beast from the sea in Chapter 13 to stand for the Roman Empire that was persecuting his people.
However, I think it's quite possible God intends to throw the people responsible for ignoring global warming right in the "lake that burns with fire and brimstone." See yesterday's news.
Thanks for your answer to my last Request-A-Ponder question regarding the relationship of “global warming” and the possible heating up of “the lake that burns with fire and brimstone.” I appreciate your humor at the conclusion. I think it was humor, anyway.
According to your suggestion I read on the Internet some comments about the various fears of serious future happenings regarding continued unrestricted fossil-fuel use/pollution, verses the position of “insignificant changes” that don’t amount to anything on the grand scale of measurement.
I’m still undecided myself; however my personal use of gasoline for driving, and propane for heating the hot-water tank and minimal 55o daytime home heat (I have a terrific warm jacket!), are quite modest and have been for some time. Don’t even burn wood a whole lot. But, up to this point anyway, I have been concerned mostly with economy, not air-pollution.
Now I have my second request for the Ponderer: In the Book of John (one of the books on your favorites reading list), it states, “The Father judges no one, but has given all judgment to the Son, that all may honor the Son, even as they honor the Father” (John 5:22-23). My question is: How, if at all, may this statement personally affect Christians who are living in this current century?
Sorry, but that sounds much too serious for a post labeled 'Just for grins.' There must be lots of people doing Bible study blogs that you could ask.
Enough serious stuff.
I knew I shot the load on my first five, but I just gotta know something and I need a good ponder...
Why is it when we take pictures, even digital ones, the people in the pictures look heavier than they really are? Back in the old days, my 150 pound frame looked like all of 165 and now, when someone takes my picture these days, it looks like I have 3 chins and no neck. Is this due to some quantum phenomenon? Is there some metaphysical process that is missing, an explanation that defies reason?
Oh, yeah. How come Porky Pig doesn't wear pants but does wear shirts and ties and hats and such? Is this possibly a slam at capitalists? "Even the President of the United States sometimes must have to stand naked." ?
Wheeew...there you are. Thought - for a second - I lost you.
Wow, some good pondering here. My ponder is simply this...and if you can answer this, my life will be much less confusing:
Why is it that my teenage daughter acts like she knows everything, yet she can't keep her room clean, or remember to wash her dishes and never can balance her bank account?
I've been having problems posting. The messg above is from me, Michele at Aprilbaby's California Life. I don't know why it doesn't let me leave my info.
Michele, Upon pondering, I have come to the conclusion that your daughter actually does know everything. But, like many people, including me, her short-term memory doesn't have the same spark of genius. For instance, I know the answer to the riddle of the Sphinx, yet I can't remember where I put the peanut butter.
However, her lack of check account balancing worries me. Perhaps she is not coldly rational in all she does. Buy her a copy of Quicken and write back in five years.
As to your second plea - the new Blogger is a pain to all who use it. I usually Control + C my comments before I attempt to send them. You are wise to use Typepad or Wordpress, I forget which. Besides, you get to do all that cool formatting with your type and photos.
Finally, and this to all the funloving visitors to the Pigsty, check out Aprilbaby's blog. She almost always makes me laugh. Her link is over in the 'Blogs I Read' section. As Stan Lee used to say, 'Nuff said.
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