That Fox Again
I've always wanted to follow Jesus. I don't know why. Just seems like he has better ideas than other people. Practical ways of growing up to become a proper pondering pig. Maybe even a pig of action!
Like that one about let God do the judging, you do the healing.
It's not bad advice. Gets the twisty stuff out of my mind. It's like the sun comes out when I can stop judging other people for a minute and relax. I wouldn't know to do that except that I follow Jesus and that was his advice.
So I am a disciple - except I am the world's most inconsistent disciple. Here's a bit from the Gospel of Matthew I have successfully ignored so far: "If you want to be perfect, sell what you have, give the proceeds to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come and follow me."
I have walked around this advice, inspected it, but decided not to ponder it, because it didn't seem to lead to joy but rather to having to sell all my stuff, give the proceeds to "the poor", then go wander around the countryside with out even a backpack and no place to keep dry and my dear little pigsty, where is it? And my little kids, if I still had some, would they have to wander around too? Not able to go to school and nothing to eat at night unless the rich lady felt generous, or we met (fat chance) some other disciple who was giving all their money to "the poor" - that's me.
I just have not been able to see any joy in this particular scenario. Sounds like a big drag, frankly. So, I have decided not to ponder it. Until today.
I'm sure it has something to do with that twisty feeling.
It's like, and I'm wandering off here - dancing in the sunshine Marin County Spring 1968 with a beautiful hippie girl I'd never seen before and never would see again, dancing for hours it seemed in pure joy while the Grateful Dead played off the back of a flatbed truck and my long hair gleamed and brushed the morning. No drugs - just joy of life and being young and sharing it with a dear beautiful saint for a moment.
It's like that versus being chained to a death job with angry ghosts passing in the halls and meetings with sour, cynical faces day after day like in Dilbert - because I had to make the mortgage and my kids needed braces and our beautiful old Victorian was warm and safe with my girls safe and jolly and their friends running in and out.
Just seemed like that's what you did when you were a man - you took care of your family, and that met burying your heart and living behind a mask. I never felt like I had a choice to sell all I had and give it to "the poor" and then go follow Jesus. Couldn't I do it now somehow?
Oh dear , I don't think I've pondered this through but rather got more confused...
Labels: Christianity, Homesick, Meaning of Things
posted by Christopher Newton at 5:36 AM
6 Comments:
Fellow follower here...
...good pondering. No bad pondering, pig! Just like no bad questions.
Where do we find our worth? In what do we put our value? Do we really believe treasures in heaven are more valuable than treasures in our grubby hands? Jesus nailed that rich, young ruler with the one issue that held him captive.
Sometimes I feel ruled by my debt that I continually struggle to pay off and can't. Why does it obsess me so? I just want to pay it off so I can be free.
But I am already free....right? Hmmm...now I have to go ponder.
My fave quote in the world is: "A man's life does not consist in the abundance of his possessions."-Jesus.
It gets awfully confusing when one isolates passages from all of the other things Jesus said and did. He gives His poor pondering pig disciples many different examples and stories to make a point, which is usually about “heart” stuff, and love. I think “following Jesus” is loving God and trusting Him for everything, including His desire to transform selfish piggy hearts hearts …and allowing Him to motivate our actions. Sounds like joy to me!
I was thinking on your reference to dancing to the Grateful Dead and I guess I realized that the twisty stuff is what got to Jerry's mind in the end; the reason for his self-medication. You know, the having to be the leader and having to produce and working so others could thrive, survive... all the stuff that smacks of responsibility. As Paula suggested above, the issue that held him captive.
Yet the Grateful Dead thing provides a good metaphor too. The notion of community and the group mind, with the good and the bad; the whole melange of life. Then there's the phemomenon of the Deadheads and, as Jerry likened it, running away to join the circus. Or, as mythologist Joseph Campbell suggested, following your bliss. It's that old yearning to be free; a desire to return to the way we were created
When we are captive to something in our lives that we can't shake, whether it be a bad relationship, a bad job, a bad jones, greed, or a compulsive feeling of over-responsibility, we are controlled by something outside us that exists to destroy us or, at the very least, maintain control over us. We aren't free then and, I think, Jesus is calling that rich boy in all of us first and foremost to be free of those bondages.
When we are free and can dance and exert all that foolish happiness that wells up, we can't help but let it escape through every part of our being. I believe then we come closer to God. I'm reminded of King David dancing wildly (and, gasp, naked) before the ark of the Covenant as it was brought into Jerusalem. His joy overwhelmed him. He was free.
But, alas, joy abides sometimes closely with despair; the person who laughs and sings is the brother or sister of the person who mourns.
Ah, but freedom...
Hey Chris,
I found this quote on Wikipedia. Maybe it could fit in here somewhere. But maybe not.
"Fear is that little darkroom where negatives are developed." ~ Michael Pritchard
~ Gary
Best thing to do, is to know and realize that Jesus often talks about relationships and our hearts. When He said sell stuff etc. He meant, "wheres your heart?" The original 10 commandments were LAW. Always pointing to our need of a Savior. The first 4 are about our relationship towards God. The other 6 are about our relationship towards everyone else on the planet.
Don't ever get hung up on other people's values and belief systems. Manmade rules are bondage!Jesus summed it up nicely when He was asked which is the greatest commandment.
"Love the Lord your God with all your heart, mind, soul and strength. And the 2nd is very much with the first, Love your neibour. The whole sum of the LAW and the prophets hang on these two..." (I paraphrase).
I think religion kills and stifles, relationship gives life through love.
I feel a little sorry for the certain rich ruler who sadly walked away from Jesus when told, "One thing you still lack. Sell all that you have and distribute to the poor, and you will have treasures in heaven; and come follow me" (Luke 18:22). Who knows if the young ruler was married or not? It doesn't say. Maybe there was a queen and some little princes and princesses in his family that he felt responsible for.
Being a ruler he probably had to maintain a palace of some sort to entertain visiting dignitaries. And palaces need servants. The servants and their families, if there were any, were, in a sense, eating at his table too. If the rich ruler was a responsible sort of man, which he no doubt was, then he had the well-being of other people to consider in making this decision, as well as his own future. He wanted to follow Jesus, but he may have desired to do what he felt was the right thing to do for all the lives that would be concerned with this important decision.
Perhaps later on, with more time for quiet prayer, the rich young ruler would reverse his decision to "sadly walk away." Trusting in Jesus' words is not typically an easy thing to do, as you've undoubtedly discovered for yourself, but following his leading is the way to go, I believe.
Earlier in his ministry (Luke 12:32-34) Jesus said these same words, "Sell your possessions, and give alms," to his entire flock. These words, however, were prefaced with the words, "Fear not, little flock, for it is your Father's good pleasure to give you the kingdom." So, as I see the situation, when Jesus spoke to the rich ruler he was just repeating an instruction to the young man that he had given earlier to his entire flock of followers (who were not rich, except, maybe, for Matthew the former tax collector). Jesus' teachings are new wine for new wineskins. Right? Who'd of thought? ~ Gary
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